Friday, February 29, 2008

All I want to do is...

Cry!
I can't even get a single tear to drop! How miserable does that sound? I know my life is no where near as crazy or hard as many others, but right now I'm having a meltdown.
I hate complaining to others, but writing it helps me to unload.

At work: March happens to be the busiest month of them all. With only 5 days off for the restaurant, it just frightens me. I won't have to work all of them, but the other managers may have to! I can't imagine it and neither should they! My big boss has asked me to work at least 2 more days a month, which to some may not sound like a lot, but to me it is. I don't see my husband as it is! Thank God I work at night so I can at least see my kids. But we do what we have to in order to have a nice life. Did I mention any kind of raise? Probably not because I wasn't offered one. Nor was I told how good of a job I do or any kind of bonus in which most restaurants offer. Don't get me wrong, this job is probably one of the easiest I've ever had and the people I work with make it the main reason I can't leave.

At home: My marriage is rocky. Like I said before, my husband and I see eachother as he comes home for me to go to work. How healthy of a relationship is that? I know that once the busy season is over we'll have more time together. It's just frustrating and he's got to feel the same way. I just received a letter in the mail saying my license has been suspended! Apparently for a ticket almost 2 years ago! I have no idea and it's just adding to my frustration!
Our 2nd dog is now having to be put down. We had to put our first dog down last year because she did not like the kids and we just couldn't trust her. Well Burton seems to be having some real arthritis issues to where he can barely move at times. He doesn't eat much and is skin and bones. My husband just took him to the vet to relieve his pain and because we live in a "hippy" county, the vet told us she would rather us give him pain meds for the rest of his life and wouldn't put him down!! Or she offered to send him to a rescue! We're not looking to get "rid" of him, we're trying to ease his pain and suffering. I'm blown away! So, as I sit here right now, he is outside with diahrea for whatever reasons and really can't move. His stomach is growling so loud I can hear it inside but yet he won't touch his food. Tell me that's not animal abuse!
The kids are doing great. Stephen is doing wonderful in school, a few missing assignments but he's doing extra credit to bring those grades up. His first year of wrestling has ended and he did great! Nice to see him doing really well at things he likes.
Dane finally has cut his top teeth making him a bit happier these days. Although he has become more of a bully. I don't know what to do when he pushes or pulls someone off of a toy, but the other 2 can't fight him back, he's too mean. And he does it all with a blank look on his face!
Drake has turned into a momma's boy! He has to be with me every minute he is awake. Pulling on me, climbing on me and crying whenever I leave the room! Cute at first, not anymore!!
Ava, well not sure what is new with her. She's still the Princess and loves to give her brothers kisses and hugs. She's the smartest of the 3. She knows what I'm saying and does it with me or does what I ask her to do. Very cute!
Still no words yet from anyone. Few signing too. But I'm not going to push them unless the doc says something is wrong.
I must go get ready for another long day of work.

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